I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I smell stomach acid.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
