Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
