Your tits are I can't wait for
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
