I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
