This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
