I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I am available for nakedness
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
