It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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