STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
