Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
