Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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