This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I enjoy the company of your penis
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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