i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
