Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Randomize
