Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize