You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
