I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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