Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You're like the curious george of whores
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
