I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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