Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
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