i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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