Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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