this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
