awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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