my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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