Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
