It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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