She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
