"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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