i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
