he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
