I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
