garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
i think i just lost a toe
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
