Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
