Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
