Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
