I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
