apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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