You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize