It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
