garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
