yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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