I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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