I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
