The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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