So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
you made out with another girl for some wings
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
