Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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