That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
