So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
