Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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