New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
