I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
