OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
