jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
