he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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