What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
