I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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