Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize