Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
She needs sedatives and a leash
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
