Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
