I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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