dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
