I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
