When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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