She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
