I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
