dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
me + whiskey = a bad person
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
