He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
