This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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