I got chris browned last night
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
