Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Randomize
