you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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