Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
