You're a womanizer and a bitch.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize